Being Considerate Toward Others





People often tell me that I’m considerate, both at work and in my personal life. I don’t have any special talents, but this might be the one thing I can feel proud of. In Canada, this skill may not be seen as very important, but in Japan, it is something people really value. Still, I sometimes wonder—what kind of actions truly make others happy?

Imagine the Other Person’s Everything

When I talk to someone, I try to imagine everything about them. What kind of person are they? What do they like or dislike? What might they be doing after this?

For example, if my boss often praises people who work fast, I think that person cares about time. So I try to make meetings short and send simple messages that are easy to understand quickly. On the other hand, if the boss cares more about making “good work,” even if it takes time, I try to learn what “good work” means to them. Is it strong data, a creative idea, or a beautiful design? These kinds of people often want to talk more. They are usually the “Just ask me!” type.

By learning what the other person thinks is “good” or “right,” I can guess what will make them happy. That is the first step of being considerate.

Don’t Cross the Line

To do this, you might think you need a lot of information from the other person. But too much communication can feel uncomfortable. So, it’s important not to go too far.

For example, if your boss takes a sick day, don’t ask “Are you feeling okay?” in front of everyone the next day. Maybe they had a private reason. Maybe they didn’t want to see anyone. Just greet them normally. But saying nothing is also not good.

So, I try to talk to them later, when we’re alone. If they trust me, they might say something. If not, they’ll probably just say, “Thanks, I’m okay.” And that’s fine. Keeping a good distance is also a kind of care.

Think About Everyone, Not Just One Person

Maybe some of you don’t like work parties. It can be hard to enjoy yourself when you’re always thinking about your boss.

Before I came to Canada, I held a farewell party at work. I invited many people, including coworkers who had already left the company. But then I realized something: Person A and B get along well, but B and C don’t.

As a “considerate person,” this became an interesting challenge. I first checked the guest list and asked some friendly coworkers about office relationships. I wanted everyone to have someone they wanted to see or talk to. Then, I asked someone who’s friendly with everyone to help me. I said, “Please help with this table later, if you don’t mind.”

Thanks to that, many people told me, “It was so fun,” or “I liked where I sat.” That made me feel really happy—like I completed my last mission.



Do I Take Care of Myself?

But then I thought—am I also being kind to myself?

At the party, where did I sit? Between two bosses who don’t really like each other. The coworkers and friends I liked were far away. I chose that seat because I wanted them to enjoy. But I left behind my joy.

After coming to Canada, I realized something: it’s okay to take care of yourself too. Being considerate makes others happy, and that makes me happy too. But the moment I feel truly happy is when I also care for myself.

This skill helps me live well in Japan. But it can also make life harder. It’s a soft skill that works anywhere, but I want to remember—being kind to myself is just as important.




Biograghy

Tokhimo. (Oct 2024). Omoiyari: The reason why Japanese are empathetic and considerate. Tokhimo. https://www.tokhimo.com/post/omoiyari-the-reason-why-japanese-are-empathetic-and-considerate-1

Madrigal, B. (Aug 2019). 気配り - Think about others. LinkedIn. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/%E6%B0%97%E9%85%8D%E3%82%8A-think-others-barrett-madrigal/

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